I’m convinced the real reason for nine months of pregnancy is coming up with a name.

You like a name, but he doesn’t. Or it’s the other way around. Grant? Kid who ate paste in third grade. Grady? Name of the wino outside the Safeway where he worked in high school. Christian? A lot to live up to. And on it goes.

Every choice carries memories, associations, expectations. You consider the family options and the name books. Practice writing it. Saying it. Evaluate it for nickname potential. Make sure the initials are cool. When you finally agree, you breathe a sigh of relief. 

There is a Subreddit called Tragedeigh that always make me laugh. There are some mighty creatively spelled names out there. We aren’t talking a letter or two different from the original spelling. Khynneddi for Kennedy? Eighden for Aiden? Deztani for Destiny? We need an intervention.

That might have been me, except for a well-timed article I read while expecting my first baby. It cautioned parents against saddling children with names they’d have to spell out for the rest of their lives. 

Then again, if you do have an uncommon name or spelling, it’s easier to be tracked down online—if you want to be found.

Names define decades. If you were a Jennifer in the 1970s, you might have shared your name with a few others in all your classes. That’s when nicknames Jen and Jenny proved useful. And here’s looking at me. Thanks to the Beach Boys’ “Help Me, Rhonda,” my name has a strong ’60s/’70s vibe. 

Go back a few more decades, and you have vintage names like Hazel and Evelyn making a comeback. 

My mother’s parents legally changed her name when she was 2, to keep the peace and appease an insistent relative—an expense when money was scarce. Mom already had her aunt’s middle name, but apparently that wasn’t enough. Adopting a new name had to be confusing to such a little one.

Sometimes it’s not spelling or popularity that gets you—it’s cultural baggage you never asked for. Let’s talk about Karen. And Alexa. I’d like to apologize on behalf of connotations everywhere. 

I have never met a Karen as impossibly demanding as the stereotype stands. My freshman roommate, Karen, was hilarious and kind-hearted. An accomplished pianist, she beautifully played Vivaldi’s “Spring” and other selections at my wedding. Now she’s the president of a music college. She’s most definitely not a “Karen,” but knowing her humor, she’s milking it for all it’s worth.

And Alexas. To share the name of the ubiquitous device gracing many living rooms—well, that’s got to be hard. It’s a lovely name, but after the umpteenth time a jokester asks you the time or weather, you’d be so over it. 

And what happens if you are an Alexa that owns an Alexa? At that point, you’re basically living with your own heckler—a know-it-all who’d always answer for you. (If you have not seen the “Saturday Night Live” sketch on Amazon Echo Silver, Google it for giggles!)

The Hollywood set has its share of interesting monikers, from Moon Unit Zappa to Apple. 

Names. They’re the first gift we’re given—but only a glimpse of who we become. 

GET YOUR 2026 BEACON GUIDE

Speaking of names, inside this issue you’ll find a thought-out list of businesses and services to help you age well in El Paso and Teller counties. 

The 2026 BEACON Guide has hundreds of verified contact information for clubs, retirement planners, physicians, home health providers and more. If you’re in El Paso or Teller counties and are missing your Guide, or would like extra copies, call 719-900-7664. 

A new Guide for Pueblo and Fremont counties is coming later this year. For details, visit BeaconSeniorNews.com/csp-get-in-the-guide 

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